Bitter Cold
by MomofPhoenix
Summary: Joe Morelli discovers that a combination of bitter cold, geese, and a pond are not a good thing. Mumofpicklegirls, I used it!


A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

 _This story is an attempt to use one word that Mumofpicklegirls told me. It seemed like an awesome and fun word; with an unusualness that I just had to use._

 _Now, I also have a shameless plug for everyone. It's that time of year! The second annual Fanfiction Takeover event on Facebook is happening January 28 & 29\. If you have a FB account and want to join us send me a PM and I'll tell you how! It is so much fun! We had over 200 People join us last year!_

 **Bitter Cold**

All of his laundry was dirty, he only had one clean outfit and pair of socks. There were no clean underwear or thermals to keep him warm. He was contemplating his next move when his phone rang with a very familiar tone. It was his office. All he could think was shit.

"Yeah," he growled into the phone.

"We've caught a double at the park by Stark Street. They are being fished out of the pond as we speak. get here fast. The chief is already making heads roll," Big Dog said.

"Be there in twenty."

"Make it ten. He's hollering about having your job next."

"Leaving now."

He hung up his phone and wanted to throw it. The temps are only in the teens and the wind chill is making it feel like it's below zero. He makes the twenty minute drive in ten, using his kojack light. He hated the damn thing. He always felt like he was out of a bad 70's police film with it. He had tried to convince the higher ups to get the newer under cover vehicles that had the lights in the grill and a bar concealed in the upper part of the windshield, but it was a no go. It wasn't in the budget they said. Yet they could go on a freaking week long golf outing that was paid for by the department.

It didn't seem to matter how things were going today, it was going to be bad. He had just found out that _his_ Cupcake had moved to Florida permanently. Despite the fact that she had moved there for a job offer, it felt like she had moved there to be with Ranger. Which may or may not be the case. He was pretty sure that Ranger would be joining her there shortly. This round of thinking just irritated him even more.

He got out of his POS car and the door stuck when he tried to shut it. It took five tries and all of his strength to slam it shut. His anger was growing by the second. He noticed the chief glaring at him and he had to resist giving an eye roll. He took a deep breath and slowly made his way over to the actual scene. There was a lot to be said about the oddities he was already noticing. Too many people that are high ranking already here and barking orders. Whoever the stiffs were, it couldn't be good if it brought out this much power.

As soon as he was upon the scene he almost vomited at the sight. It looked like the bodies had been pecked my the geese and nibbled on by the fishes. Which meant they had been there for a bit.

"Morelli! Walk with me," shouted the chief. I nodded and followed him to a small secluded area.

"We have no clue who these people are, or what the motivation is behind their deaths. We were all here for a public announcement. We need this case taken care of quickly."

"I'll do my best, sir." He knew that now Stephanie was gone, the chances of him solving the case quickly were almost non existent. He had relied on her for the information that solved most of his cases. That information made things go faster. He moved to assess the crime scene, and realized that no one was going to recognize the two figures on the ground.

"We need to bag and tag the bodies, unless it is confirmed otherwise, we will assume that it is a homicide. We need pictures of the surrounding areas and anything that can be construed as evidence" Joe ordered in an authoritative voice.

Soon people were jumping to do as he ordered. They got the him that he was the detective in charge of the case, and no one would question him. He helped gather what he thought was evidence and moved closer to the pond. He was chilled just looking at it's surface.

He was beginning to have to fight off geese. The damn things were like ninjas in stealth mood. They would come up behind without a sound and bite you in the ass, maybe that's why they call it goosing someone. When he finished this case, his entire ass was going to be black and blue. The bad part is, they were only attacking him. Karma was literally biting him in the back side.

He thought he saw something in the water just a little bit away. He crouched down to get it, when it happened. The horror of all horrors, he was goosed. The pain and surprise of it had him falling face first into the pond. He was fished out of it by his co workers, but was frozen to the core. An ambulance was called, he was suffering from hypothermia by this point. His boys were so damn _nithered_ that he knew they would never crawl out of his nether regions. The guys were all laughing at that point. His chief looked so pissed that a vein was popping out of his bright red forehead. He was so screwed.

Someone put a warming blanket around his shoulders. The chief was storming his way over to him. He watched as the chief stopped in mid stomp and answered his phone. The chief went dead pale after a beat. He hung up the phone and his gaze became more menacing. His March became slower and more deliberate.

"Detective Morelli, once you are done at the hospital, you have one week paid off."

"What about the double homicide?" Joe asked.

"The case has been solved and we are letting it go. We are telling the media, all of the media, that it was due to an accident. We have witnesses to corroborate this."

An ambulance an the coroner showed up at the same time. They hooked placed him on a gurney and started an IV. Just as they were putting him in the rig his mother arrived.

"Joseph Morelli! Why me? How could you embarrass me like this?! Anthony Petrucha doesn't go swimming in a pond in the middle of winter! Why didn't you marry that sweet Plum girl and settle down like a good boy?" She shouted as they were closing the doors.

He closed his eyes as they pulled away. He couldn't believe that his Ma was harping on him about marrying Steph, she never liked her. It wasn't his fault he fell into the pond. The damn goose got him.

A/N Mumofpicklegirls, I hope I used nithered right, please let me know.


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